Thoughts Today

So a kid killed himself recently at my school. I didn't know him, but I guess he might have been in one of my classes. And it got me thinking. Our society is so messed up today. Our priorities have completely shifted beyond the realm of sanity. Little things mean so much to us, and important things mean so little. You can see someone spend hours stressing out about something someone said in passing, but see someone dodge across the street in front of oncoming traffic because they don't seem to believe they could get hurt... they could die. But almost everything we worry about is ultimately, in the grand scheme of things, pretty inconsequential. How could it matter, for instance, if you embarrass yourself, or you fail a test, or someone's mad at you? In the grand scheme of things... in the future, across the world? Then why should something so inconsequential as this matter so much to us? Why do we choose to see these drops of trouble as insurmountable oceans of worry? Our minds have been so convoluted with our own self-importance that we believe every little trouble a travesty. Now, am I saying this kid who killed himself was self-indulgent? No. It is we, as a society, who encourage this detail-oriented mind-set, losing ourselves to even the knowledge that there exists a bigger picture. But that doesn't mean we should give ourselves up for lost, forsaking our minds to the current of the public mind-set.

Neither am I implying that nothing we do has impact. Who are we to judge our place in the world? Actually, for this argument, I'll just turn to some song lyrics.

"Through Heaven's Eyes"

(From The Prince of Egypt)

A single thread in a tapestry-

Though its color brightly shine-

Can never see its purpose

In the pattern of the grand design.

And the stone that sits on the very top

Of the mountain's mighty face-

Does it think it's more important

Than the stones that form the base?

So how can you see what your life is worth

Or where your value lies?

You can never see through the eyes of man

You must look at your life,

Look at your life through heaven's eyes.

A lake of gold in the desert sand

Is less than a cool fresh spring-

And to one lost sheep, a shepherd boy

Is greater than the richest king.

If a man lose ev'rything he owns,

Has he truly lost his worth?

Or is it the beginning

Of a new and brighter birth?

So how do you measure the worth of a man-

In wealth or strength or size?

In how much he gained or how much he gave?

The answer will come,

The answer will come to him who tries

To look at his life through heaven's eyes.

And that's why we share all we have with you,

Though there's little to be found.

When all you've got is nothing,

There's a lot to go around.

No life can escape being blown about

By the winds of change and chance,

And though you never know all the steps,

You must learn to join the dance-

You must learn to join the dance.

So how do you judge what a man is worth?

By what he builds or buys?

You can never see with your eyes on earth-

Look through heaven's eyes.

Look at your life,

Look at your life,

Look at your life through heaven's eyes!

Now, I realize that this is a song from a Christian movie, and those who subscribe to that particular religion might write it off as irrelevant. But it still applies. We can no more judge our impact on the world than a pebble can see the ripples it makes when tossed into a pond. We are so preoccupied with being too close to another rock, too deep in mud, too far from any fellow pebbles, too round or too flat, that we are all too willing to lose ourself to the world before we are even chosen and aimed at the pond.

We are so sad. And we are so small. So many little people with little worries, who care not one jot about anyone they cannot see. To quote River (from the TV series Firefly), each of us is just a "sad little king of a sad little hill."

I love this place... this city, this school. There are so many people, each with their own beliefs, ideas, and cultures. So many different individual entities. Together. But at the same time, I loathe it. So much pettiness, so much chaos. So many sirens. With all this insanity, it's a wonder our society can accomplish anything at all.